Female's translation of M4W photos
You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to. What you think your photo says and what we ladies think it says can be two totally different things. Who's to say who is correct? Probably a little of both. I wrote this quite a while ago, but was just reminded of it, so here it is.
1) Photo of you with no shirt on, flexing your muscles
Translation: Will cheat on me with some whore from Gold’s Gym.
2) Photo of you in military uniform with references to you having been a civilian for 4 years now.
Translation: Has gained 50 lbs since this photo
3) Photo of you in any type of uniform, especially your National Guard, part-time volunteer EMT, volunteer firefighter, security guard, or StarTrek uniform
Translation: Is insecure and has a deep need for affiliation
4) Photo of you leaning on a car
Translation: Probably lives in parent's basement and has latent homosexual feelings toward David Hasslehoff.
5) Photo of you in over-the-top sports apparel (more than one item, painted face, etc.)
Translation: I will be a Sunday/Monday-night widow, and be competing with [insert team] for attention.
6) Photo of you sitting at your computer
Translation: Get used to this vision of me because I hardly ever leave this chair. ‘I can’t shut down now because there’s a raid tonight and if I leave everyone will die because I’m like only one of 3 healers in my guild.’
7) Photo of you in your bedroom
Translation: Lives with Mommy
8) Photo(s) of you past age 21 where beer has a predominant role
Translation: Alcoholic
9) Photo of you in poor lighting
Translation: He doesn’t want a date. He wants my kidney.
10) Photo of a wide landscape with you somewhere in it
Translation: Oh, that third dot to the left? Hot. Let me email him immediately.
11) Photo of you with a bunch of drunken friends
Translation: I’m going to have to hang around with these bozos?
12) Photo of you with someone else cut out of it
Translation: Very tacky. Who is the blonde anyway? But from the small patch of forehead that I can see, she looks like a skank with premature wrinkles.
13) No photo
Translation: The three M’s: Married, Mongoloid, or Moron
1) Photo of you with no shirt on, flexing your muscles
Translation: Will cheat on me with some whore from Gold’s Gym.
2) Photo of you in military uniform with references to you having been a civilian for 4 years now.
Translation: Has gained 50 lbs since this photo
3) Photo of you in any type of uniform, especially your National Guard, part-time volunteer EMT, volunteer firefighter, security guard, or StarTrek uniform
Translation: Is insecure and has a deep need for affiliation
4) Photo of you leaning on a car
Translation: Probably lives in parent's basement and has latent homosexual feelings toward David Hasslehoff.
5) Photo of you in over-the-top sports apparel (more than one item, painted face, etc.)
Translation: I will be a Sunday/Monday-night widow, and be competing with [insert team] for attention.
6) Photo of you sitting at your computer
Translation: Get used to this vision of me because I hardly ever leave this chair. ‘I can’t shut down now because there’s a raid tonight and if I leave everyone will die because I’m like only one of 3 healers in my guild.’
7) Photo of you in your bedroom
Translation: Lives with Mommy
8) Photo(s) of you past age 21 where beer has a predominant role
Translation: Alcoholic
9) Photo of you in poor lighting
Translation: He doesn’t want a date. He wants my kidney.
10) Photo of a wide landscape with you somewhere in it
Translation: Oh, that third dot to the left? Hot. Let me email him immediately.
11) Photo of you with a bunch of drunken friends
Translation: I’m going to have to hang around with these bozos?
12) Photo of you with someone else cut out of it
Translation: Very tacky. Who is the blonde anyway? But from the small patch of forehead that I can see, she looks like a skank with premature wrinkles.
13) No photo
Translation: The three M’s: Married, Mongoloid, or Moron
posted by Rebecca at 11:03 PM
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