11.22.2006

explosive journalism

explosive journalism
Category: News and Politics

I turn on the TV this morning to see what the temperature will be and I find that there's been a massive explosion in Danvers. No deaths or major injuries, though many people displaced from their homes, lots and lots of damage and a home for the deaf and blind evacuated.
During the press conference the fire chief conveyed the information calmly, with a thick Boston accent and lots of ahs and uhs - as is expected for someone who doesn't speak in public every day. That, I can deal with.
Then came the questions. The stupidest, most leading, loaded, sniffing for a sensation type questions reporters could ask:
Sir, we've heard that there is broken glass in quite a wide area, including the shopping district, has there been any signs of MAJOR UNCONTROLLED LOOTING?
Excue me, but isn't this a RACE AGAINST TIME, because, I mean, we've got a big Nor'easter coming in a few days. What are you going to do about that?
Chief, really, how MIRACULOUS is it that nobody is dead. Would you call it a miracle or what?
Gah! What ever happened to asking relevant news-worthy questions and then letting the man get on with his job? They're all such hacks - only asking questions that will garner a quotable headline-grabbing answer. If I were the chief, I would have told them, yeah, there's terrible widespread looting in DANVERS and then let them trample each other on their way to their vans. Assholes.

11.16.2006

Persnickity - 7 letters, begins with R

I am a crossword puzzle fiend. Sift through the debris covering my coffee table and you'll find at least three weeks' worth of New York Times Sunday Magazines turned to the second to last page, smudged ink filling in the blanks in various amounts of completion. A dog-eared tome of a NY Times Sunday Crossword Omnibus sits in the stack of "coffee table books", U2's "Show", The Photo Book.

When picking up, I stack them together with the other parts of the newspaper and miscellaneous junk mail and catalogues and reluctantly put them aside for recycling. This last week as I was heaving a heavy sigh over those unfilled boxes, I realized that I have a surprisingly strong opinion about the right way to complete crosswords. It's a firm conviction. You might be able to sway me on some things, but not with this. I think I've channeled all my OCD tendencies into "puzzlin'" (that's what all the cool kids call it.)

Whatcha doin'?

Puzzlin'.

Word.

So, here's my philosophy on crossword puzzles:

Crossword puzzles are not the time to "learn", meaning you are not allowed to google, wiki, or pull out a reference book in order to get the answer. If you don't know it, you don't get to fill it in. Tough shit. Deal with it. Crossword puzzles are a guage of your knowledge. The fun is in seeing how much you can get filled in through recall and deduction. You can maybe ask a person in the room for help on one, but that's more out of politeness in that someone else is in the room and your nose is in a crossword. Plus, if it's your boyfriend and he knows one that you don't, that's kinda hot and deserves a kiss. Besides that, you're on your own, baby.

So looking stuff up is cheating. Yeah, it's on the tip of your tongue. Yeah, if only you could google the complete works of Anais Nin, then you'd remember the answer. Wah wah wah. It's not going to happen. Put the pen down. Go back to it in a day. You'll remember it then. Or figure it out the hard way but getting the answers from the down hints. That's the only true way to play.

Oh and p.s. - word searches are for losers. They're the Soap Opera Digest of puzzledom. You might as well be on Wheel of Fortune post 199- when they started giving you RSTLN E as a gimme and Vanna began tapping the letters instead of turning them.

Nobody works for things anymore.